


Potential

by sartiebodyshots



Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: Episode: s03e12 3rd Life, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-14
Updated: 2016-01-14
Packaged: 2018-05-13 22:16:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 862
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5719021
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sartiebodyshots/pseuds/sartiebodyshots
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A little moment on the ride home after 3rd Life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Potential

**Author's Note:**

> Ah man, dedicated to @ittybittymattycommittee, who got me nito another fandom, again. And who is currently sitting cold somewhere in NYC in the name of coming to visit me. Tru MVP.

Spencer ends up in the window seat on the jet ride home, next to Derek.  He’s staring out the window, even if he’s not seeing any of it. 

Jack just blew that boy’s head off.  The blood and bits of brains were everywhere.  He exposed his daughter to that kind of violence, and Spencer couldn’t stop him.  He should’ve stopped him.  

“You okay?” Derek murmurs, nudging him a little.

“Yeah,” Spencer says, pulling what he’s sure is an unconvincing smile.  “I’m fine.”

“If you need to talk…” Derek says.

“No,” Spencer says firmly. 

On the one hand, he appreciates Derek looking out for him like this.  But on the other hand, he genuinely doesn’t want to talk.  He wants to forget.

Derek nods in understanding.

Slowly, Spencer feels his eye start to get heavy.  He doesn’t want to sleep; he knows what he’ll see.  But he can’t fight biology forever, and he ends up drifting off.

* * *

 

Derek feels a warm weight on his shoulder and looks down to see Spencer’s head resting on his shoulder.  His heart thuds as he looks down to see the familiar brown mop of hair.  He looks around- everyone else is asleep, too- and affectionately presses his lips against the top of Spencer’s head. 

“I’m here, kid,” Derek murmurs. 

He’s come to care for the younger agent in a different way than he cares for his other colleagues.  It feels good to have his head resting on his shoulder like this; Spencer could have easily curled up the other way.  It feels right in a way that it probably shouldn’t.

There are rules against fraternization, of course, but there’s nothing against little moments like this.  Hell, there’s no guarantee that Spencer would even want to fraternize with him. 

But this is a good little moment.

* * *

 

Spencer wakes up to find his cheek pressed against Derek’s shoulder.  He thinks about jerking away, but if Derek hasn’t shoved him off yet, he clearly doesn’t mind. 

It’s nice, the feeling of someone supporting him, of a warm body against his side.  That the person is Derek only makes it better.  He trusts and cares for Derek.  After seeing what he saw (and then seeing it over and over in his quiet nightmare), it’s good to not be alone.

Spencer pretends to be asleep because he doesn’t want this to end.  Sometimes he gets so lonely and just kind of… sad.  But Derek makes him feel better.  Makes him feel all kinds of fluttery feelings in his stomach that he doesn’t want to consider.  They’re good fluttery feelings, though.

Derek shifts a little and Spencer expects that he’s about to be nudged off his shoulder, but Derek just brushes his cheek against his hair. 

There’s no way that Derek misses the way Spencer hitches a little at the sensation.  Still, Derek lets him stay there, curled up against his side and pretending to be asleep.

Then the plane hits turbulence, jolting everyone around, and Spencer knows he can’t pretend to be asleep after that.  He sits up, blinking like he’s just waking up, and smiles small at Derek. 

“Sorry about falling asleep on you,” Spencer says quietly. 

“No worries, pretty boy,” Derek says.  “You may be a genius, but your head isn’t that heavy.”

A dozen facts flash through his head, but Spencer discards them.  He’s still tired somewhere deep inside.  His head certainly feels heavy.

“That’s not how brains work,” Spencer says eventually. 

Derek blinks and looks at him in surprise.  He’s obviously expecting at least one of the facts that Spencer discarded.

“I’m gonna go back to sleep, I think,” Spencer says.  “If that’s okay.”

“Of course,” Derek says, raising his shoulder a little bit.  “You should rest.”

“Thanks,” Spencer says. 

Slowly, Spencer rests his head on Derek’s shoulder- on purpose this time.  He’s warm and comforting and Spencer has no intention of actually falling back asleep.  This probably isn’t going to happen again, and Spencer wants to remember this.

He’s definitely not going to fall asleep.

Definitely not.

* * *

 

Derek smiles as Spencer starts to snore softly again.  Good.  That he didn’t explain to Derek exactly why what he said about brains was wrong concerned him.  They all deal with heavy stuff in a job like this, but sometimes something just shakes you.  And it’s always worrying to see a colleague shaken, especially when they’re a friend too.  He’s feeling kind of shaken, too, albeit in a much more mundane, less terrible way.

After seeing how Spencer reacted, how he pretended to still be asleep, it’s pretty safe to assume that Spencer feels the same way that he does.  That…

That’s almost the most complicated it could be.  If Spencer didn’t like him back, there’d be nothing more to consider.  Derek could shrug and move on; he’s used to being alone.  It’s not a big deal.

But now…

Most likely, nothing will ever happen because their jobs say that nothing can happen.  But the possibility will always be there at the edge of Derek’s awareness.  When they joke around or sit just a little too close together, that subtext will be there, and Derek will know it.  And wonder.


End file.
